Embarrassing Mum

It was the day. The day all my friends were coming to my big mansion for my ultimate sleepover. I just couldn’t wait. I need to make sure everything looked perfect and obviously I need to look nice. Everybody says I’m boastful, but they are just jealous of the beauty in me. My parents are so annoying too. They’re always embarrassing me. Anyways time to get ready now.

Holly, who is my best friend , helped me to get ready. When I had done the finishing touch, she complemented me. “Your hair is the golden sun, your eyes are emeralds and your dress is as lovely as roses.” Holly exclaimed. “Well thank you, you look….. nice.” I said not really caring. Soon all my friends soon arrived. “Happy birthday!!” they shouted happily. “Thank you everyone,” I answered back.

“Now girls its time to do our makeovers.” I said excitedly. They all screamed of joy. We ran upstairs. I told Holly to take over while I go and talk to my mum. “Mum make sure you make us some fabulous breakfast this morning, not something rubbish.” “Got it.” mum said. Soon after we all looked beautiful with our make up on. Mum came up stairs with guess what? Eggs! “Really? Eggs!” I exclaimed furiously. “Yeah I thought you would all like some eggs.” mum said shockly.  “I hate my mum,” I shouted.

8 thoughts on “Embarrassing Mum

  1. 15sinead

    Hi Jauvane,

    I loved your story. Who inspired you to right that story. In the story your charter was like a diva, I love diva stories. Why was you so angry! I knew I wanted to make a good impression, but did you get angry because you don’t like eggs, or your friends doesn’t. After you said ” I hate my mum!” what happened next. Did you put all the eggs In the bin, hopefully not. Overall I want to know what happens next.

  2. 15maria

    Hi Jauvane,
    I really loved your story I liked your drop in clause and your simile. Also I liked the way you said “I’m boastful, but they are just jealous of the beauty in me” it realy explains the character. Keep up the great work.

  3. 15beverley

    Good morning Jauvane,
    What a story. I loved you drop in clause-Holly, who is my best friend, helped me get ready. I also loved the way you were describing your self in the first paragraph, it really describes the character as Sinead said. You could have changed the bit when you said- “Well thank you, you look….. nice.” I said not really caring. Instead of said, you could have used answered. Overall, well done with your fantastic story, keep it up.

  4. 15erica

    Wow Jauvane, I really enjoyed embarassing mum because I liked the way that you developed your own character and you especially stood out. Keep up the great work!


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