Angel Z

Chapter 1:

In your mind, Angels are Gods helpers. They fight with evil and they keep you safe. But I think some Angels are liars. They want their own power, they want to own heaven, earth and even hell. So let me tell you what I saw.

It was the first day of half term. I picked up the phone to call my friends, but all I heard was breathing. Deep breathing. I threw the phone on my bed and found a mini skull with a dagger through its jaw on my table. I thought it belonged to my brother so I placed it in his room. As I went back to MY room,  I saw the little object on the floor in front of me. Okay, so at this point I got really freaked out. I took the weird looking thing and threw it out the window. I composed myself and slithered into my bed, I was exhausted.

I had a nightmare. I was in a dark room with a dull tiny light. I saw my friends tied to chairs. I was in the middle of two tall tables. One had that little skull with the dagger and the other one had a bright silver key. Luckily, I woke up before I could know what happened next.

7 thoughts on “Angel Z

  1. Mr. Ruddy

    Hi Denise,
    I really enjoyed this chapter – it was really engaging for the reader. The whole thing about angels at the beginning has really got me thinking about where your story is going. Will they be a part of your future chapters? I loved your adventurous vocabulary e.g. composed, slithered, exhausted. Also, the way you ended with that terrifying dream has really made me think about what will happen next.
    Please hurry with Chapter 2. I can’t wait! Keep up the great work.
    Mr. Ruddy

    Reply
    1. 15maria

      Hi Denise,
      I realy liked this chapter it was very interesting. I liked the way you ended it I wonder what will happen next. Keep up the good work.

      Reply
  2. 15amelia

    Hi Denise,

    I loved the suspense at the end of the story,
    I wonder what will happen after you wake up.
    Will the second chapter be better?

    Reply
  3. 15robbie

    *Great boy sentences.
    *Nice short sentences.

    You could of put in more short sentences. Also i enjoyed the book really much you will defintly engage the reader.
    Excellent overall though.

    Reply
  4. 15sinead

    Good evening Denise,

    I loved your suspense at the end of you story. I am really eager to know what happens next in Angle z. I loved the first chapter really scaring the reader. it seems you got a bright future ahead of you. I am really looking forward to chapter two. Moreover carry on with your great story.

    Reply
  5. 15adam

    Hi Denise, I liked the the fact that the skull kept re-appearing and freaking out your character. I also liked how you said ‘But I think Angels are liars. They want their own power, they want to own heaven, earth and even hell.’ But maybe next time join the beginning with the end.
    I must ask what do Angels have to do with this story? Also I agree with Mr Ruddy your end really made me think!

    Reply
  6. 15beverley

    Good morning Denise,
    I agree with Adam. The skull kept on coming instead of just talking about it once. Some people just put a character in their story and they never talk about it again. I also like how your writing in present tense s if it was happening as you were doing this. I could not wait until you released the second chapter. Overall, amazing job.

    Reply

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